Wow! I can't believe my good luck! I just got a call from my lawyer. Guess what! The government of a small island nation (that I am prohibited from naming under terms of the settlement) was forced to cough up an extra $4200 to yours truly (before my lawyer takes his cut, of course). Roughly .005 percent of the total settlement (I can't disclose the exact amount) meted out approximately 11 years ago, this unexpected windfall came about after the government of my home country launched an exhaustive accounting investigation into the distribution of all monies awarded by this shitty backwards country to citizens of my equally shitty country (but with a larger military).
You know, maybe they have finally made up for their negligence that resulted in the loss of my hand and my father's life. Just think of all the shit I can do with this much cash! Here are a few ideas:
1) I can put a down payment on a Skidoo (finally).
2) I can afford a week long vacation visiting the empty square of scorched earth that used to house a giant warehouse for cheap carom products and other knock-offs.
3) I can rent a billboard downtown and erect a 2 story high hand giving God the finger.
4) Does "240 Webkinz" mean anything to anyone out there?
5) I can fuck the Governor.
Do you believe this shit?
2 comments:
Hey Duster!
Loan an old HBM some cash-ola,Babee! I will gladly pay you,etc., etc.
HBM
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