Ask Olive!

Dear Olive,

First of all, let me just say how great we here in Boca Raton, Florida think you are. You're experiences as a not-so-young-anymore socialite amputee have been like a ray of sunshine in this otherwise dull and depressing place we here call "The Sunshine State." Normally I wouldn't bother someone like you with my troubles, but I didn't know to whom else I could turn [editor's note: to whom else I could turn, can you believe this shit?]. Here's my query:

I have a friend who was scheduled to be inducted into the Hall of Fame in his or her profession, a very important and inspiring profession that touches people in profound and significant ways. The problem is that before he or she could receive the honor, the invitation was reneged after he or she was caught "receiving" something else in the backstage bathroom before the ceremony.

Is there any hope for my friend to take his or her rightful place in the shrine of his or her profession?

Former Dancing Great,

Gail Horning

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Dear Gail,

You can't give the backstage bathroom attendant at the Boca Raton Dancing Hall of Fame a lap dance before the induction ceremony, forget to lock or even close the door, and expect there to be no consequences (especially at your age), if that's what you're asking.

Gail Horning Fan and Aging Socialite,

Olive Duster