Dear Client 9,
Wait! It's not too late. We can still salvage your term. Here are the top three ideas that came out of my recent pow-wow with some of your country's greatest political thinkers. Our plan in general? Divert your constituents' attention. Here's how:
1) Invade a terrorist state. My vote is for Connecticut.
2) Have staffers leak a story about how a nondescript dark-skinned male abandoned the prostitute in the back of your cab. Use key phrases in your description to ensure believability such as "dark-skinned", "medium build" and "knit cap". "What was I supposed to do? She had been abandoned!"
3) Don't run from the problem. Turn it on it's head - confuse them. Your personal plight underscores the urgent need for your unheralded initiative - mandatory driver's licenses for all illegal commercial sex workers.
If it helps, I know how you must be feeling. I, myself, have been called a hooker (by my brother) on account of my prosthetic hand that used to be a hook and is now an iLimb. I, too, come from a broken home (on account of my father perishing in the warehouse fire what took my hand and my mother subsequently developed a drinking problem which has, for the moment, resolved status post her hysterical-ectomy, which is not, as one might presume, a good thing) and I am an aspiring singer (or whatever).
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