Get this - Dr. Assram calls me - on a Saturday - and here's what he has to say:
"Hello, Olive. How are we today?"
This is his standard annoying greeting.
"Fine."
"I am calling because I wanted to see if you would be available to discuss your experiences with the iLimb at a brown bag luncheon we are hosting at the clinic on Thursday."
Dr. Assram doesn't believe in contractions so he actually says "I am" instead of "I'm" like most people. Also, I would not be surprised if he never eats, sleeps, or leaves the hospital.
"Uh..."
Brown bag luncheon? Are you fucking serious? Don't you know that I hate people?
"Many of our residents have not had direct contact with this technology and I thought it would be a good experience for them to meet one of our success stories."
Can I be drunk?
"I..."
"It would be a 45 minute luncheon and all you would have to do is answer their questions, demonstrate the technology, and allow me to remove and attach the prosthetic."
Demonstrate the technology? How? By doing Cat's Cradle? By threading a needle? Maybe I could cut an apple or scratch myself.
"Olive? What do you say?"
2 comments:
I wouldn't eat brown bags from a clinic, either. At least, not with people watching.
Almost as bad as stale sandwiches from Police lockup.
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