Lot's of intern applicants submit their essays over the internet. One special applicant showed up at our offices along with this special treat - Patrick (of SpongeBob fame) shaped cupcakes. The rest of you have your work cut out for you. Of course, I have to assume they are poisonous as I have many enemies (e.g., dolphins). So after the applicant left, I gave them to the creepy doorman of Mother's building (with whom I made out a while ago and I have since been avoiding like the plague that is likely living in his "beard"). Well done, Sophie. You truly have a leg up on the competition. Can't wait to read your essay, "Off Da Hook: Why I Need This Unpaid Internship with a Saucy Amputee."
You know, as I read this, who better to apply for this unpaid position than Homeless Businessman. I will contact him immediately.
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