Monthly brunch with Mumsy. Delayed a week due to her "emergency" hysterectomy. Weird shit happened... Mommy had iced tea... no alcohol... no Bloody Mary followed by "a drop of Chardonnay" followed by "a splash more Chardonnay" followed by embarrassingly loud stage whispers about our fellow diners. Iced tea. With lemon.
Then it gets really fucked.
We had a normal mother-daughter brunch. Mother even made pleasant, funny conversation. I had commented that I wished my iLimb came witha variety of attachments, like "fork", that I could use when eating brunch to amuse myself while my tipsy mother hits on the wait staff. Mommy then said, "You need a Swiss Army iLimb." Then she took a pen out of her purse and proceeded to sketch this hypothetical prosthetic for like 10 minutes with running commentary. She added a toothpick, corkscrew, and a lighter, in addition to the requisite screwdriver, spanner, and nail clipper. Her design incorporated the spork "to lighten the load."
You know how once in a while you hear about the surgeon who operated on the wrong leg? Is it possible that Mommy was mistakenly given a lobotomy instead of having her uterus scraped out?
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