Like Mother, like daughter

So, I learned something today. After researching Mommy's hysterectomy (no, she didn't get to keep the uterus leavings in a bell jar, I already asked), it seems that fate has brought us closer together. Mommy didn't have a complete hysterectomy. She had a partial hysterectomy. They took her uterus, sure, but they left the supracervical.


"So what? Who gives a shit?", you're probably asking. You're so mad, you're considering smearing feces all over the bathroom mirror of your local library where you're using free internet wireless. Put that poop down, hot head. The supracervical is the technical term used for the more familiar one - cervical stump!!! Mumsy has joined the Stump Club!!! Oh, Mother! Now you know what it's like to lose a part of yourself! Now you can understand me better. That is, once you get your robotic uterus implanted.

Fun facts about hysterectomies:

1) No celebrity has ever had one.
2) Mother's surgery was similar to the C-section I always wished she had chosen for me.
3) Mother's surgery was actually a laparoscopy that was "robot-assisted" I kid you not.
4) Technically, if Mother opted for gender reassignment surgery, she would be part-way there already.
5) Unlike the image above, Mumsy's gas-filled area was actually much larger.
6) Mother did not appreciate the following joke: "Look at it this way - since your womb has been disposed of, you can't experience 'empty nest' syndrome when Oliver leaves home."

I thought it would cheer her up, you know, like how if you have your tonsils removed, you can't get colds anymore...