What's for dinner?

OMG, last night at dinner, Drunk Bernard was in rare form. "I'm a G&T man, myself..." And he loves to pepper his monologues with fancy words. All I kept thinking was, "If you use the word 'abeyance' once more time, I'm going to dump my veal cutlet with radish reduction, lentils, and celery root on your three piece Oxxxford."

It's funny how whenever I agree to a fine dining experience with Mother and DB, I just end up wanting to eat my own head.

Yes We Kan-anaskis!

After this morning, I told Mother to think of my room as a smaller version of Kananskis, Alberta. As many of you know, Kananaskis is an "improvement district" whose number one priority is watershed protection. Maybe future tragedies like the one below could be averted.

______________

After Mother careened into her bedroom following a night on the town with Drunk Bernard, I noticed my iPhone peeking out of her Prada handbag. The next morning she stumbled into the kitchen wearing my Pixies t-shirt and Freudian slippers (don't ask).

"So how was [Radu] Lupu?"

"Oh, Olive," she swooned. "He was... I know everyone was there to hear the Beethoven, but halfway through Symphonic Dances, I thought I was going to burst!"

[That's what happens when DB makes you drink too many Mud Slides during intermission.]

"Oh, you'll never guess who was there with his bottle-blond wife of his!"

[Um... That could describe most of your horrible friends.]

"That lovely Asian doctor - Ashram. He said you missed your last appointment."

"Oh?"

"I mentioned you had been so busy with medical school. Honestly, Olive, the poor man looked like he had swallowed a ladybug!"

[I bet you looked like you had swallowed a litre of Kahlua.]

"Oh, I took your iThingy for the show. I think it's broken, dear. Bernard couldn't switch it off for the performance so I had to leave it with the coat check gal. Poor thing said it cut her off in the middle of a call!"

STAY OUT OF MY ROOM!

the new mii

as promised, here is the code to download the mii i created of myself on olive's battered wii:

5590-6146-0760

if you download me, alls i asks is that you let me know about it so i can feel famous for a day.

all my best,

o.d.

...all the way home!

So med school may have been a failed experiment. Turns out I don't like touching people, talking to people, debating with people, or being with people. I'll give it one more semester and then we'll see. I am enjoying biochemistry...

Anyhoo, I took a few days off to just laze about... Mother and Bernard are part of this local consortium to attract (trick) high profile classical musicians to our city. BTW, they come here already so I don't know what the consortium actually does. Okay, I know. They get drunk at expensive restaurants and gossip about Qian Zhou's hairstyle.

So, all alone in the flat and what do I see? Mums bought Olive a Wii for Christmas and he never took it home. With my one real hand and my one robotic hand, however, I couldn't get the fudger out of the box. So with my keen medical mind I decided to take off my iLimb and reattach my old prosthetic hook and then I went medieval on that mofo. The end result is pictured here.

I got a 135 my first time bowling, which I'm sure no one has ever come close to matching.

I did make a Mii and I will post it here later so my fans can feel like they're part of the O.D. experience. I will not think twice about you, however, except when I am in Anatomy class.

I am cold and scared,

Olive