I came home last night and there were two big boxes on my bed. The accompanying note from Mother revealed that she decided it was time to clean out my bedroom closet (between the hours of 11 pm when I left and 3:30 am when I returned). "Keep or donate." Mummy, which charitable organization do you think would most likely benefit from my high school biology labs and feather collection? I'll call Amvets first. "An assortment of feathers you found in your yard between the ages of 4 and 9 years old? We can have a truck there by Wednesday. The Desert Storm folks will love 'em! They use them in their crafting room."
Mother, just because the doctors vacuumed out your uterus, doesn't mean you have to vacuum my room.
Besides, your womb is responsible for numerous crimes against humanity. We should go to the Applebee's to celebrate its removal!
Look at it this way - now there's more room for Bernard.
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