Saturday, August 30, 2008

Tapped out



I have been negligent in my posting and I am only writing now in secrecy. For the last 3 months I have been traveling throughout Western Canada with my thought field therapist, Kieran. He told me that the repetitive tapping and clacking of my fingers on the keyboard may actually be responsible for my personality disorder. Apparently, constant typing, particularly with the index finger of the left hand, can cause a blockage of my Qi. He has had me on a steady diet of the "nine gamut." It makes me look like I have a tic disorder, but I think it's working. Plus, I think he's been hitting on me, rubbing my back and whispering Robert Frost poems in my ear while I roll my eyes, hum, and tap my stomach over and over again. He says it's all part of the therapy. I keep wondering when he's going to tell me about the spaceship hiding behind the comet waiting to receive us at the end of the decade. Plus it's costing a fudging fortune. But he says it's worth every penny.

I'll write more after Alberta.